Gentle humorous thoughts from the woman's viewpoint on that special afterglow sleep. Careless inattention to this can lead to relationship peril, as the oxytocin, dopamine and endorphin effects are working their way through the postcoital brain of your partner.

Oh, and don't get fat and develop obstructive sleep apnea (like I did). A huge SNNNORRRRR in the ear of the spoonee is likely to get you a heel to the shin, an elbow to the breadbasket, or worse. And don't think that your CPAP machine is a get-out-of-jail-free card, either. Sure, the snoring stops, you sleep (much) better and feel great. But it doesn't make you cuddle-eligible. For me, the trifecta of (1) constant exhaust blowing on her (2) the hissing airflow sound and (3) a plastic tube flopping around awkwardly in the pillow zone all combined to guarantee that never again would sleep arrive with my wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life, in my embrace.

It is not the only thing that went wrong in our relationship, not by a long shot. But I will always wonder: If we could have fallen asleep in each others' arms in the last few years, the way we had at the outset, would we still have come undone in the face of the other stuff that was to come?

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